Waiting to find out if I was pregnant after our IUI on March 20th was weird because on the one hand, I was so nervous and anticipating being able to test, but it was also kind of like nothing happened at all. After all, it’s like a ten-minute basically painless (for me) procedure in a doctor’s office and then it’s just done and you leave. In addition, our timing didn’t seem that great – I don’t think I ovulated until the next morning after our afternoon IUI so I kind of wrote off this cycle and have been looking forward to another try at the end of April.
Then, last Friday, I got a faintly faintly positive pregnancy test at 11 days past our IUI. I didn’t trust it, and I didn’t even mention it to my wife. I’d been having a lot of cramping, and it was so so faint, it just didn’t seem right. I waited, and tested again on Sunday and got a slightly darker line. Still I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t tell my wife. I had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday (15 days past IUI) and when I was only getting faint positives by then, I wasn’t feeling great. I asked my doctor to test my hCG levels and sure enough they were only 37. I knew that wasn’t great for 15 days after ovulation, but of course I read a million stories on the internet of people that had crazy low hCG levels and ended up with healthy babies. I was feeling pretty awful though, and my hormones aren’t helping the situation. I ended up crying in my graduate advisor’s office and then making my wife come home where I told her the good news (I can get pregnant) and the bad news (I was probably about to have a miscarriage).
Today I got my hCG levels retested, and they were only 24. Hopefully that means they will continue to fall and in the next couple of days I’ll miscarry. My doctor wants me to keep coming in for blood draws until the hCG falls below 5 to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. So, now I’m waiting again.
I know that in some ways, we are lucky to know that the timing was fine even though it didn’t seem ideal, and that my body doesn’t have a problem getting pregnant. I also know that super early miscarriages/chemical pregnancies are super common, and having one isn’t a sign that there is anything deeper wrong. I also know that so many people have had such long roads to creating their family, filled with much more pain than ours has had, and I think I have a new level of empathy for how hard that journey must be. For now, we’ll be waiting for my hCG to fall, and for a new cycle to start, and then hopefully we’ll be on to IUI #2.